Hi, I Have Been Awake Since 3
Some daily drawings, mixed with mid-life freak out, plus a sketchbook tour.
Outlet is tabling at the Seattle Art Book Fair for the first time this May, and THIS IS ME SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!! I’m planning on making a new zine for the occasion—ideally two. But let’s not get too wild with the promises here.
Editor’s note: It is now two weeks later, and I haven’t started the zine. Or zines. I have been thinking about them, which is basically step one, right?
The spring term started three weeks ago, and I feel like I was launched out of a cannon. The last few weeks have been filled with critiques, calendar chaos, and preparing for portfolio shows and reviews. This season always comes with a swirl of emotions. There’s the stress of deadlines and shows and emails and planning. But also? The intense joy of seeing students pull together these incredible projects. Watching their ideas take shape—it still is an incredible drug, even after all these years.
Sometimes (okay, often), I fantasize about what my days would look like if I weren’t on the emotional rollercoaster of guiding design students and navigating the ups and downs of the university system. But I also know how fortunate I am to do this work. This year marks twenty years of being fully immersed in academia. When do you start to feel like you know what you’re doing? Asking for a friend. That friend is me.
How did I do this at 26? At 36? At 46?
What will I be doing at 56? 66? 76? Hello, early morning mid-life freak out. It’s time to get up and start your day.
Speaking of which, it’s 5 am and I’ve been up since 3, which was when Hank crept into our bed and immediately passed out while I, of course, woke up wide awake. After two hours of willing myself back to sleep, I gave in, came upstairs, and started typing.
In a perfect world, I’d wake up early on purpose, have a couple of quiet hours to write and think before the day starts.
But this only seems to happen when I’ve had a completely restless night. So let’s send out a newsletter, baby!
We watched quite a few movies this week since Hank and I were trading a stomach bug back and forth. He sat through the entirety of An American In Paris, so you know he wasn’t feeling 100% and was great company for the entire two hours of this 1951 Gene Kelly musical. We also watched the 1994 film starring Charles Grodin, Mary Steenburgen, and Martin Short, a fever dream called Clifford. We have been telling each other to “look at me like a person! Look at me like a human boy!” for the last several weeks.
Also, Outlet tabled at the Reed Zine fest on March 29th, and I picked up a zine that I WISH I had made by Outlet Zine Librarian and badass illustrator and zinester Sophie Danner titled: I Love My Honda Fit. It’s ” It’s a good one, and you can buy it here.
Why yes, we did see the very first screening of Minecraft on opening day. It was incredibly joyful and we were such early adopters of this movie, that we got to miss the absolute chaos that these screenings have turned into. I also went to the dentist, where I was told that I needed my final two wisdom teeth removed after stubbornly holding on to them for 25 years after my first two wisdom teeth were yanked out of my skull. Anyone reading been on the other side of 40 and had their wisdom teeth taken out? I'd love to hear about the recovery time compared to being 20…
We had my in-laws visit this week from Nebraska, so many afternoons and nights revolved around swimming in the hotel pool and eating burgers and burritos across from the Best Western at Wood Village Burrito. Also, I finally own a tuxedo shirt.
I wanted to share a video of me flipping through my most recent sketchbook. No fancy editing. Just two plus minutes of me turning pages (consider this sketchbook asmr) and over three months of Daily Purchase Drawings, plus the occasional drawing for freelance or promos for Outlet, or this substack. I love watching these books pile up.
It’s 6:26 now. I can hear Hank shuffling around downstairs. I need to get dressed, pack up, and head to school.
I do want to get up at five again tomorrow to write, but maybe... without the two hours of tossing and turning beforehand? That part I could do without. Dream scenario: same quiet morning vibes, but with sleep attached.
Thanks again for reading :)
KBB
Congrats on the tuxedo shirt; you finally made it! And NEVER TRUST DENTISTS. They don't care about you and they just want your teeth.
I LOVE your drawings and anecdotes. Thank you for sharing.